The Official Dad on Tumblr

How old are you? 40.

What’s it like being old? I dunno. It has its highs and lows. I am pretty happy with my life. I am in a band again… so, it’s about the same as when I was 22. A few more physical aches and pains now… that’s for sure.

What do you do for a living? I currently draw unemployment. I used to be a manager at a TV station.

On unemployment, eh? What kind of jobs have you had? Until I was about 28, I worked in a lot of kitchens. After that, I did: retail, tech support for AOL, outbound phone surveys, inbound phone sales, delivery driver, legal courier, some accounting and finally working in the TV business.

You’re too old to be on the internet. You’re too young. Go outside and do dumb things that kids do… like set off fireworks in someone’s mailbox. 

Are you a pedophile? Nope. I ain’t saying that younger girls aren’t attractive, but I prefer someone with a little more life experience.

Can we see a picture of your dick? Nope. You missed your chance in 2004. No, really, I had it surgically removed that year*. Asshole.

Where do you live? I currently reside in Louisville KY. I lived in Tucson Arizona for most of my life.

Do you have any kids? 1 that I know of. He lives in Colorado with the baby momma.

Are you gay? Nope. I like the vagina. 

Do you have a girlfriend? We’re all single on the internet.

Name your favorite meal? Steak, potato and asparagus. 

Do you have any allergies? Oddly, tomatoes. I am also a little lactose intolerant.

Do you have any cool hobbies? I play bass guitar in a punk band right now. I have been in several bands over the years. I’ve been playing since I was 18. I occasionally make techno music. I also write some poetry and have a secret blog for it. Sometimes, I do a little “art”.  

What kind of music do you like? I will name 3 bands that have influenced me immensely: Melvins, Devo and Tones On Tail.

Do you do drugs? Every once in a while. I did a LOT of drugs when I was younger (about the average age of the typical Tumblr user). Nowadays, I just drink beer and smoke cigarettes and the occasional… errrrmmmm things.

What’s your ideal vacation? I really don’t know. I would like to travel… but sometimes, taking a “home vacation” can be quite relaxing. 

Tell me something interesting about yourself. I actually keep my secrets pretty close to the vest. Closed lip kind of guy. I will say that once, when I was in Mexico, I drank too much and told my friends to fuck off. I hung out with some Mexican punk dude and slept at his house. Luckily, some girls were driving up to Tucson the next day, so I didn’t get stuck in Mexico.

If you want to see pictures of me - go to my archive and search GPOY. 

Other than that - welcome aboard and deal with my posts… or leave. I honestly don’t give a fuck. Seriously, ask the majority of my followers… they know that I don’t give a fuck. 

*Some information contained within may be a confabulation.